brigettemarie

I think I'm going to die.why me. the cold is burning me. what have I done to the icey world to deserve this. eat my heart out for I don't whant to feel know more.       bye bye bye life no more. feel this no more......................................................no more.......no no no god my tommy herts like hell.eat the pain away. slam my head in would u please good god damb my head can't keep up with the hert. ok any way I'm almost dead. yep I'm almost there. die motherfucker die. I done with life I'm dead.  china doll

why if your looking for love that makes u crazy.I'm not I just want someone to love me and not get sick of me.I just want a place just like everyone else.I'm only scared off my ass to lose people cuz every body has left me.I don't want to die alone. I just want to love. crazy I guess. If caring is crazy then I'm one crazy ass bitch. I will always forgive for thats the only thing my heart is good for. I don't want to be a matt no more I want some one to love me back for once. It's hard when all I can do is give but my heart herts I guess I will try again. If I break I will never to it again for I am sore sad and filled with fear.I guess love is just wishfull thinking.I really seem to like wishful thinking.I must be doing something wrong but I still don't get it. I never will. I love I will die loving and my family has left me for I am just a soul with no path. the only path I seem to have wont stop going in circles.stop please I'm getting sick please give me a breaklove me mom dad or some one. it's shure getting dark in hear. I hate the dark. I'm so lost I fear I will never find my way.mom love u dad i miss u. friends I love u to. I don't want to scare anyone or push away a soul I'm just lost as fuck and want some fucking help.these are the words I speek for I am alone and want my family and friends support for I'm so alone It's so cold in here for I am your pretty doll that u sit on your shelf when u are done with me. bleeding why. why can't I just be happy or is that not ok. I guess I'm not ent to be happy. this is all written in fear of losing every body I'm scared to look at my empty room again. hugs and kisses are all just a  bunch of teddy bear talk i guess.were is love I keep reaching out for I will not stop seeking love for that is my path a long hard cold scary path.my chest herts I just want to be held for I feel so emty I'm drain were does it all come from. my energy is so gone washed away.take me home for I am done herting I just want to cuddle up to teddy and tell him y belly herts I'm in so much pain cause I don't want to be left in the cold again. for I seem to hold on so tight for I amm sorry I just want someone to love. wierd I know.I don't want to scare anyone for I just want love. scary word I know. me out of all people should know how scary that word is.

 

brigettemarie belly's in pain I just want ti hide cause i feel alone.

jaming is my life for fucking shure. music is the only thing that keeps my life going. my life time set up would be to open for my fav band afi one day that would be sick as fuck.I one day hope that I will be the next jackass.

 

 

 

 

brigettemarie.       china doll

got to love it and all the hot guys just kidding any ways. it's all about the music with music this world would be mad and i would have not lasted this long there would be no way in hell i could have lasted this long were all the same our parents hate are music and they hate what we were but thats ok because i hate what they were. and I will blast my music as loud as i can for my complex to here it.

 

 

       brigettemarie china doll.

A  it's hard when u have to own up to your own stuff I learnd that last night when i heated up a fight and had to own it up to the cops. im a good girl it's just i forgot it was not high school any more and now i see that being 17 was much easer even when i thought i knew it all i shure as hell didn't so being an adolt really isn't that easy it's a lot harder than moning about the fact that your mom tuck your self phone away or something.what would i give just to be a kid agian and go on jaming in me geroge and doing all the little stupid games i used to play. but thats not the point of this my point is that u can't go back wards and u just need to own up to your shit and get on with your life.

 

one positive i got my own house wich means my rules and it can't get better than that.

 

china doll brigettemarie  

aaaaaaaaaaa i love muffins.      love brigettemarie.     

 

 

 

 

china doll   brigettemarie    lovin all muffin lovers

the tea cup I drink from the chair I sit at the bed I sleep.

blood is my contact tea cup is the life I live the bed is soon to be a resting place, a place of peace.I give my life to the one who brakes me from this lonley shelf. looking at u through this glass frame I see a pumkin,a pumkin with one hell of a smile.u sit and grin as if u will live on will u go on or is this your final stage a selfish thing I call a being. well thank u for drinking tea and come and visit,read I have so much to tell.   

 

 

brigettemarie china doll    little apple red doll

hey it's your china doll. I want to have a tea party with u and all of your glass doll. we should all have some bloody tea and some crazy fun together it's all the fun in the dark that u all want. it's never ending.

 

 

 

 

brigettemarie  china doll.

growing up in foster homes I found something that never gave up on me my music there was always a voice to keep me company, nice really. music is something that gave me a reason to keep on movin and now I plan on never letting my music down I always have a cd playing and I can't stop singing ,singing makes u so open when u sing it's so hard to hide your feelings u get a chance to open your self to a true freind my best bud in the world my music.      china doll  write tell me has music ever saved your life?   china doll       brigettemarie

my X that I was vary inlove with just slamed my heart down my throught. damb I woke up this morning and relized that I had a good group of freinds that mean the world to me and i would like to thank them for being by my side.levi and chris and my loving sister magan u are all so kind please read this and now how much i really love u guys. magan u have been there to help me through ters and levi u have been there to make me lauph and chris u have been there telling me how I will make it through this u are all so great and I will never forget your greatness If u ever need me for anything i will be  there any time.           love for levi chris magan    ps i suck at spelling      any way   china doll brigettemarie

hey little guy love u dil i hope u read this u are my fav little bro. I know u love pickles lol   my best bud    sis bree aka china doll  brigettemarie

the boys feel sleep way before me. I can always beet them at this stay up crap. they are so cute when there silent. now I have the computer to myself and no more people pushing me in the pool.I hope I can fall asleep so I can stay up for the fireworks. looks like jordan is a loud sleeper no more silence. nice for as long as it lasted.  

 

 

brigettemarie

sitting in this room alone with my tea cup I sit.in this room of lace such a pretty doll face.smile with a paint prush cry with a water color.u only see me sitting on your shelf pretty doll face. so beautiful so alone my heart is begining to feel a lot like a panting praind of it's color driping in blood sitting so silent screaming so loud in the inside of this glass body I call my home.Broken tea parties,screaming nightmares and feeling of bloody lace like they say I have a pretty doll face.

 

china doll    pretty doll face.   brigettemarie.

I just got back from am pm me jordan and levi got kicked out for singing afi as loud as we could we want all of redding to know how much we love havok,

 

afi has made soooo much of a inpact on my life.there music is like a blanket there music is so full of energy. I used to get made fun of for carrying around a afi book I made in high school i still have it and thats where I write my feelings I feel like there music has made me so much more open minded. davey is the most real person I have heard in my life. I like that there could never really be a nother havok he has made such a inpact in so many lives that to me is a true god.     

 

brigettemarie aka china doll

my new band soon to hit the underground we will be doing our first gig on sunday in redding ca. we finally got a drummer he has 12 years on his belt chris has made every thing happen for the bipolar project. my dream would be to open for afi one day. us the bipolar project are vary big afi fans they have been our inspiration since day one.     

 

 

we need all the support we can get thank u    china doll aka brigettemarie